Loss & Grief Counseling
LOSSES …
We are such a society of attainment and we are not taught how to talk about loss and grief. Going through a loss of any kind can be detrimental to your physical and emotional well being if you do not have someone to talk with about and to learn coping skills.
Just in the last 4 years our world collectively experienced the worse losses and grief in over a century with the Covid-19 pandemic. Many people have lost loved ones they were unable to see, say goodbye, or have a proper funeral/memorial service. We were mandated to stay at home, close our businesses and many experienced huge financial stress. Many people misunderstand grief because it is a topic often avoided and thought it is only about a loss through death. With COVID-19 and the consequences of this pandemic many are suffering physical and mental stress due to the many losses we are still trying to heal from, (death, work changes, closed business, change in connections, fear to go out, safety, etc.). When we lose suddenly our brain is trying to process loss and we go through many emotions. If we do not talk about our feelings they can take control of us. Therapists are finding that the loss and grief that comes with Covid 19 is a unique grief that has uprooted many aspects of day to day life, a loss of expectation and anticipatory grief. In therapy we address the feelings, grief, validate, and learn coping skills try to find meaning to what we are going through.
With the up and downs of this insidious virus, the constant news and photos of the wars we are experiencing in the world, constant negativity in social media we are facing a society filled with isolation, stress, anxiety and hopelessness. Looking back to 2020 it was hard to imagine what life would be in the future but many of us thought it would help bring people together and appreciate life’s simples pleasures and embrace our neighbors as we navigated these losses together. Instead it we have seen a nasty, judgmental, angry, and disconnected society. These judgments are affecting so many individuals mental health, we find ourselves a bit afraid to go outside to a world that has changed. We need someone to share our thoughts, some that may even scare you, because talking about it helps us realize we are not alone and what steps we can do for ourselves to not get influenced by so much negativity and live a fulfilling, peaceful life.
The death of a loved one can be the most stressful event in a person’s life. A wide array of emotions can be experienced, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, and despair. Changes in sleep patterns and appetite can occur, as well as physical illness. These are all normal parts of grieving and the feelings can ebb and flow over time. Grieving over the loss of a loved one is a necessary and natural process. Time and balance are important components yet talking about our loved one is the start to healing. Everyone grieves differently, especially depending on how we were brought up and our own backgrounds. Grieving is one of the most universal of all human experiences, cutting across race, nationality, gender and socioeconomic backgrounds. Although it is something we will all encounter eventually, it is still one of our society’s biggest taboos. We are bombarded daily on TV with the images of accidents, shootings, naturals disasters, war, etc., but we often do not address grieving and we always hear "it is time to move forward". For those of us that are left in its wake, it is not so simple.
I help my clients that are mourning the death of a loved one by giving them permission to talk about their loved one, remembering them, and we examine your UNIQUE feelings. I help you recognize that life is never going to be the same without that person but that life does go on and that your loved one would want you to move on. Before you can get to that place of acceptance and readjustment, I help you mourn the loss both by talking and through some healing tasks. We never get over a loss but we do find how to live fully with the scar. It hurts so badly because we were lucky enough to have loved so deeply. Loss is not easy and support is crucial.
Loss can be aging of parents and the mixed emotions that come with seeing the one that carried us once is now needing to be carried by us. Being a caretaker is extremely daunting, exhausting and can cause many feelings such as sadness, frustration, anger, guilt, exhaustion and a feeling of being alone.
Loss of an unborn child is often not acknowledged by many because the baby was not tangible by many. It is a very personal loss especially for the couple that already began bonding with the baby and had their plans and dreams abruptly violated.
OTHER LOSSES :
Divorce
Job Loss
Empty Nest
Retirement
Connection with others
Ageing
Pet Loss
Financial loss
Illness